Sunday, January 7, 2018

These things called books




I am writing my life. 

Not literally, not yet at least, although I hope to get there at some point. But in the every day, in the choices I make, I sculpt the words of my existence. In stringing them together - as Shakespeare taught with consonants to punctuate meaning and with vowels to express emotion - I write.

(And on really good days, I create songs to sing.)

These things called books.

Last night at work, I wrote in my journal. I am definitely not supposed to be doing this, but I had the time and needed to be responsible to myself. My heart was hurting at the end of a budding relationship, my first attempted since leaving my ex. It ended abruptly. I felt betrayed in trust. I turned to words to understand. They told me what I already knew, reassured me, comforted me. 

These things called books are sometimes of the air, invisible but older than time. Destiny has a bad reputation, it feels so heavy, iron-bound and I am a believer in the errratic, ectsatic human mess (at least for me it is often a mess) of free will choosing. But there have also been connections made of late where words were not needed. I am remembering the beauty of friendship. It feels rather special to be able to feel someone far away without having to write a line, as if fated.

In my mind's eye, I can see my book starting to form (even if there are days, many, when I leave the pages loose lying around, I walk over them unnoticing on the floor). If I open the cream cover, I can nearly trace what is written on the dedication page with a pinky finger: "This is dedicated to...loving myself." And oh, that feels so vulnerable that at times that I am ashamed of it, I want to erase, erase, erase but I can't, for it is written in gold.

This breath, this moment, I just exhaled. I am here, I am here and I am writing my life.



And oh, the stories within.

27 comments:

  1. Bonne année my friend - write that book!

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  2. And there you have a name for your blog...if you are still looking to rename it! Actually two..."Writing my life" ...or..."The stories within" But you had me at "BOOK". yes, yes and yes please.

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  3. Complete admiration that you are putting pen to paper. I look forward to reading (and buying) it!

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    1. I am in my journal. Not more for the moment...

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  4. Much to think about and take to heart here. Thank you.

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  5. I agree that life can sometimes be such an erratic mess. Write that book, Heather. You would do a wonderful job.

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    1. Am working my way towards the idea, friend.

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  6. Great title “The Stories Within” .....

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  7. Pen to paper, always clarifies and brings light to the dark corners. A new year....a new book!🎇

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    1. I am on the fence ... but not about bringing pen to paper. xo to you, beautiful Laura.

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  8. And you have so many stories to tell and you always share them in such a beautiful lyrical, thoughtful, mindful way.

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  9. A new year and a start of stitching words into sentences stringing to stories, a “life story”. Congratulations.

    “Take one page at a time” John Steinbeck says ““Abandon the idea that you are ever going to finish. Lose track of the 400 pages and write just one page for each day. It helps.”

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    1. Oh I love this Edgar. And even though I have read this quote before, right now? It helps.

      With all of my Best to you and the Misses.

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  10. I know you meant this figuratively, but literally, too, yes? We are all writing our lives, but you are truly writing yours! If you don't ever write a book (but I think you will), you have THIS - not only your words but your gorgeous photos which speak volumes! This alone is big - a mark you have left - giving us joy, imploring us to slow down and notice the beauty. And still so much to say, right? Exciting - all the possibilities...

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    1. Oh my beautiful Sister...how much this moved me...again...rereading it tonight. Thank you for always understanding just by being your really wonderful self. I love you so much.

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  11. Heather, it is such a logical path forward. You are a weaver of words. I'm sorry the budding relationship ended as it did, but your love affair with words and those of us who read them grows stronger and deeper. #writeon

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  12. Your photographs are so beautiful and your writing is exceptional. A photo journalist genius. Travel agencies, Architectural Digest, Elle Design, Vogue, Harpers, The New Yorker, The Atlantic, The Economist (to name a few) could use your talent. They need to know about you! Susan

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  13. Good luck, and write that book!

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